Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships
Patricia Jones, M.A.
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Articles by Patricia Jones, M.A.
It is a known fact that many battered women stay in an abusive relationship much longer than they should. Or they leave and then come back, or they refuse to press charges against their abuser.
For those who have never experienced abuse it is hard to understand why they just don't leave. And when they don't leave people tend to lose the incentive to help them and to feel compassion for them. But there are barriers to leaving that are not easily evident, but are important for others to realize so that the battered woman does not get further abuse from those who are supposed to help her.
It is also important that others realize that when a woman leaves an abuser she is in extreme danger of her abuser killing her. So leaving must be very discreet, and handled with the help of people from the battered woman's shelter or her family, who can help her safely leave.
So as you can see, it is not that easy to just pick up and leave. However, it can be done, if you plan ahead, save some money, and have some outside support system to help you through it so that you are safe and not in danger. And even if you do not have a support system, many battered women have discovered that once they take that "first baby step" God sends help and support their way from the most unexpected sources.
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship (mental, verbal, emotional, physical abuse) and need some help, advice and hope and encouragement to leave the relationship, then please don't hesitate to contact Patricia Jones, M.A. by following the instructions below:
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Why Woman have a hard time leaving
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Reasons why woman stay:
* She has no money to leave or find a new place to live.
* She has no transportation. No car because the abuser made sure she does not have one.
* She has no job, and feels that she is too old to find one.
* Has no confidence that she can support herself or her children.
* Fear that the abuser will follow her, and kill her and the children
* Fear that the abuser will threaten to kill her parents and other relatives.
* Sometimes the abuser IS A POLICEMAN who will be protected by his policeman buddies
* Knows that no one will believe her because her husband is a prominent person. Such as a Lawyer, Doctor, Minister, Politician, School or College Administrator, Military person in high rank, etc.
* Has no where to go and fears ending up in a homeless shelter
*Has no support system or family.
*Her family is unsympathetic to her plight, and blames her for her situation.
* Her abuser has intimidated and threatened her so much that she is like a "zombie" and has no strength left to fight him.
* She fears she will lose custody of the children because the abuser has more money, power and position then she does, and no one will believe her.
* She fears the "unknown" and the suspects that she will be in more danger "out there" then she is with the abuser.
* The children pressure her not to leave because they don't want to lose their friends, or leave their school, or even their father because around his kids, he is nice, etc.
* The woman is close to a "nervous breakdown" because of the abuse, and literally cannot make logical decisions and plans to leave because she is living in such fear of her life.
* Her children are refusing to go with her.
* She actually still "loves" the abuser and thinks she can change him if she does not leave.
* She has what is called "Learned helplessness," which is common to battered woman who have become so worn down, mentally, emotionally, and physically because of the constant abuse, that they just "give up" and become almost "robotic."
* For religious reasons, she believes that God does not allow her to divorce the abuser and that she would be wrong to leave.
This is just a small list of the many and varied reasons that women stay in abusive marriages or relationships that the person on the "outside looking in" may not even realize. So to judge a battered and abused woman for "not just leaving" is very wrong, without considering what is involved in making that happen. Bottom line is this: DO NOT JUDGE A BATTERED WOMAN.
