Our life together was full of joy,
For in addition to each other,
we had one girl and one boy.
We thought we would raise them
together,
as all parents do.
But now I realize it is
going to be just me,
and not you.
I can do this, I said,
even though I feel such dread.
For my life was supposed to
be, with you, instead.
So, I will march on,
because I must,
and on the down days,
I will have God to trust.
I can start anew,
with God by my side.
He will be their Father and He
will be my guide.
For He has compassion
for the widowed,
the divorced and the mislead,
and He has assured me,
I have nothing to dread.
So smile, fellow single parent
and hold your chin up high,
For your children will bless you
and walk by your side.
You have given them your love,
your best and your heart,
so that one day they
will never really depart.
One of the hardest jobs in the world is to be a single parent. And usually that job falls to the mother. If she is already employed then the adjustment is not as severe since she already has a steady job and income. Then it is just a matter of making sure she gets adequate child support and alimony. However, if she was a full time mother and home-maker when the divorce occurred and she had no outside income, or training or skills, then it can be devastating because not only will she have to find a job and/or go back to school for training, but she probably will still not make enough to survive without further support, either from her ex-husband, her family, or the state.
In addition to that, mentally and emotionally, it is very hard to raise children without a father around. Children need the guidance and role models from both parents in order to develop in a normal way. Unfortunately though, when a divorce has happened, it is a strong indication that one or both of the parents were not good role models to begin with. And sometimes it is a blessing that one of the parents IS out of their child's life because they were physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive to their children and also to their mother.
Some women are very fortunate and have a supportive and loving family who is only too happy to help her in every way. But there are others, who resent the return of the daughter and her children, and who see it as a huge interruption and a great financial burden and inconvenience of their time and money. God though, states in the Bible, that "Whoever does not take care of their own family is worse than an infidel."
1 Tim.5:8
Single mothers need all of the support they can get.
God has also promised children that HE would be a "Father to the fatherless." Meaning that when your earthly father has let you down, your heavenly father has not. And I have found this to be true, that many times, when you least expect it, God supplies a male role model for fatherless children or a female role model for motherless children.
In order for a single-parent home to survive the transition from what was, to what is, to what is to come, changes have to take place
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. "Great is His faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). Even when you are a single parent, you are never alone. God is faithful and His mercies are new every single morning, no matter what season.
If you are experiencing difficulties as a single parent and would like some hope and encouragement, please do not hesitate to send me an e-mail question concerning your concerns, or you may choose to schedule a Telephone Counseling Session with me. You may contact me by following the directions below. I will reply back to you within 24 hours to 48 hours
Patricia Jones, M.A.
