Is Your Relationship Abusive?
Are you in an Abusive Relationship?
Answer the questions below to see if you are being abused. If you answer Yes to more than just a few of them you are in an Abusive Relationship
If you would like advice or counseling from Patricia Jones you may choose either Telephone Counseling or E-Mail Counseling
Articles by Patricia Jones, M.A.
Copyright © 2006 - 2024 Dove Christian Counseling Center. All Rights Reserved
Does your partner:
- ignore your feelings?
- disrespect you?
- ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke,
or that you have no sense of humor?
- ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage
or class?
- withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
- give you the silent treatment?
- walk away without answering you?
- criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
- humiliate you privately or in public?
- roll his or her eyes when you talk?
- give you a hard time about socializing with your
friends or family?
- make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even
when you don't feel well?
- seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly
what you won't get?
- tell you you are too sensitive?
- hurt you especially when you are down?
- seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you?
- have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good
to bad for no apparent reason?
- present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked
by outsiders?
"twist" your words, somehow turning what you said
against you?
- try to control decisions, money, even the way you style
your hair or wear your clothes?
- complain about how badly you treat him or her?
- threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out?
- say things that make you feel good, but do things
that make you feel bad?
- ever left you stranded?
- ever threaten to hurt you or your family?
- ever hit or pushed you, even "accidentally"?
- seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be
getting closer to each other?
- abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object?
- compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize
you enough to keep you insecure?
- promise to never do something hurtful again?
- harass you about imagined affairs?
- manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
- destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?
- drive like a road-rage junkie?
- act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
- question your every move and motive, somehow questioning
your competence?
- interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
- make you feel like you can't win? damned if you do,
damned if you don't?
- use drugs and/or alcohol involved? are things worse
then?
- incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to
blame?
- try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are
"wrong?"
- frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you
of misunderstanding?
- treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should
be provided on demand regardless of how you feel?
Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
You express your opinions less and less freely.
You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when
and how to say something.
You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your
partner to emerge.
You find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior.
You feel emotionally unsafe.
You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about
your relationship.
You hope things will change...especially through your
love and understanding.
You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of
reality.
You doubt your own judgment.
You doubt your abilities.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You are becoming increasingly depressed.
You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
You have been or are afraid of your partner.
Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.