What is Woman Abuse?
Patricia Jones, M.A.
You may be surprised to find out that you are being abused, because your spouse is so good at making you think that everything is ok, or that everything wrong in your marriage is your fault and you believe them.
If you can identify with any of the above then you need to face the fact that you are in an abusive marriage or relationship. For help and advice as to how to change your life please do not hesitate to contact me. Please see below.
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"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
who substitue darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitue bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight."
Isaiah 5:20-21
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What is woman abuse?
Woman abuse is any verbal threat or physical force used to create fear and control what a woman does. The person being abused is weaker than the abuser. They give all their power to the abuser. The abuser is always the one responsible for his or her behaviour not the one being abused. Abusers will often use alcohol as an excuse. But the reality is their need to use violence to control another person.
What forms does woman abuse take?
A woman can be abused in different ways.
Physical abuse
Slapping or biting the woman, or pulling her hair
Destroying her property
Abusing her loved ones
"Caring" for her in an abusive way.
This can include things like giving her too much medication or keeping her confined.
Using a weapon or other objects to threaten, hurt or kill her.
Psychological or emotional abuse.
Threats
Threatening to take away the children.
Threatening to put her in an institution.
Threatening to tell friends, family and her employer that she is a lesbian.
Threatening to commit suicide.
Threatening to withdraw immigration sponsorship, or have her deported.
Stalking or harassing her
Threatening to kill her and the children.
Threatening to kill her parents, family, and siblings.
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Control
Controlling her time, what she does, how she dresses and wears her hair
Putting limits on who she can visit or talk to on the phone.
Keeping her away from friends and relatives. This is also called "isolation."
Not respecting her privacy
Denying sex, affection or personal care.
Telling her where she is allowed to go or not allowed to go.
Demanding dinner at a certain time.
Demanding a spotless house and going around with "white gloves" checking the dust.
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Verbal abuse and Emotional Abuse
Putting her down and calling her names all the time
Describing her as stupid, crazy or irrational
Accusing her of cheating
Attacking her self-esteem in other ways.
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Sexual abuse
Touching or acting sexual in any way that she doesn't want
Forcing or pressuring her into sexual acts
Forcing her to be a prostitute
Not letting her have information and education about sexuality
Forcing her to get pregnant, have an abortion,
Have an operation so she can't have children.
Infecting her with HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.
Neglect and isolation
Not letting a woman see a doctor or dentist
Taking away TTY, hearing aids or a guide dog
Locking a woman in the house without a phone
Not allowing her to take courses in ESL (English as a Second Language).
Financial abuse or exploitation
Not allowing her to have a car or drive the one that they do have.
Forcing her to walk everywhere.
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Financial Abuse
Controlling how she spends money, where she works and what property she buys. Spending all family income including her money or savings
Using credit cards without her permission; destroying her credit rating
Forcing her to turn over her benefit payments to the abuser.
Spiritual abuse
Putting down or attacking a woman's spiritual beliefs
Not allowing her to attend the church, synagogue or temple of her choice
Forcing her to join or stay in a cult.
Making fun of her attempts to stay close to God.
Destroying her religious items. Bible, etc.
Mocking her Christianity.
Using profanity, and telling dirty jokes around her.
Watching pornography openly in front of her.
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